An Updated 10 Questions To Ask My Narcissistic Ex

Now that we haven’t lived together since September 2018 and were officially separated since February 2018, according to you, I have had time to think and reflect about things and some of my questions have changed.

1) Why do you continue to lie to everyone about everything? Do you realise what you are doing or do you believe your lies?

When you tell judges that you spend thousands of dollars on the kids on top of the support being enforced, where and when? I’d like to see it.

When you say that you will do anything for the kids, why did you do the following:

Why didn’t/don’t you pay support or special expenses voluntarily?

Why didn’t you give your address for over a year so you could have overnights with our youngest who wanted to be with you? You wrecked your relationship with them because of your need for control by not suppling it to me, a counsellor, a mediator or lawyers.

Why wouldn’t you sign the oldest’s passport for three years? I had to go to court about it and why did you withdraw consent for counselling when they were little and needed it? Then they wouldn’t go.

None of these are actions of a man that will do anything for his kids.

2) Did you think it was in a child’s best interest to put down their mother continuously, to the point that you are still doing it to this day?

Not only putting me down, lying about me in front of them, not taking care of them if I am out, you even went to sleep and left them awake more than once.

You also were screaming constantly that you would take away my car for months, to the point where I had to hide it and you were trying to find out from them where I parked it.

This is emotionally damaging to children and will be long lasting. It doesn’t make them like you more. It, unfortunately, created a situation where one child is angry at both parents and another child doesn’t want to see you. I’m not sure how you thought this was going to play out to your favour.

3) You gained a lot of money and made the three of us poor in the last six years of our legal battle, does it make you feel good about yourself?

You know we could have settled everything in 2019 for about $50,00 all in and you said no. Every time I tried to mediate, you said no.

I have an audio recording where you told me you would do exactly what you did, make me lose the townhouse, make me poor, tell the kids it was all my fault and you said they would hate me. Is that why you have kept me in court for six years and counting, because you needed to make sure it happened?

I stayed for years after that audio and I wish I didn’t. I wish I was strong enough to have walked out the day you said that and not look back.

4) Why did you pick me as the person to break down everything you said you liked, until there was nothing left of the person I used to be? Was it fun? Did you enjoy watching it happen? Did you need an emotional punching bag?

The face I saw all the time at the end was pure hatred. Black eyes that narrowed and rolled up, your head shaking back and forth and the complete disdain resonating from you. All of this was because I had enough of being mistreated.

5) Your smear campaign and your triangulation worked with your relatives and friends, how long before we separated were you working on it?

Honestly, it hurt in the beginning because your mom, brothers, sister in laws, nieces and nephews weren’t kind to our kids by leaving them out of celebrations and visits. As you know, my family is small and I told your mother she could see them anytime, I would have never said no.

For me personally, it did me a favour by showing me that they never really cared about me. It was just because I was married to you. They believed the manipulators lies, that’s fine. If they think I was pretending and I was actually mentally ill, a liar, a cheater, disturbed..whatever. How a person goes from being a good mom, nice and quiet to turning on a dime 18 years later, is beyond me.

6) Why did you think telling our oldest that I was married before was a lie and shameful?

I find it odd that you thought it was your place to tell them as it’s not your history and I am now wondering what else you told them at your dinner visits.

Are they going to suddenly use the fact I have been molested as some kind of bomb drop that I have to talk to our youngest about? Or the fact I told you I was raped? Remember how you used that against me?

It’s obvious to most people that using a sexual assault in an argument isn’t normal.

7) I have one question that I have tried to figure out that isn’t about me and it’s not important just bizarre.

Why did you hide the change when I received my first protection order instead of just taking it?

A few weeks later I found it in the sideboard in a box. Maybe you wweren’t taking the order seriously.

8) Why did you buy our youngest a knife longer than my laptop for their 10th birthday when we live in the city?

You didn’t take them fishing, hunting, hiking or camping. They had no need for it. I had my order when you bought it.

Then you bought a realistic airsoft gun when teenagers were getting arrested because they look like real guns.

I had to take both items away immediately and you had to know they would cause problems for us.

9) What were you going to do if I met you alone when I had a protection order with no witnesses like you wanted?

Was it going to be you that I met or someone else?

There is no chance of me ever meeting you alone.

10) Why do you hate women? Your other ex’s were crazy, had drinking problems, gambling problems.. that was you, wasn’t it and I didn’t know it at the time.

I know that you will never answer any of these questions. If you read this, I am going to get attacked through our eldest or at court the next time we go, or by you not paying support until there’s a consequence. Or all three will happen.

The difference between the last time I wrote 10 questions and now is, I am harder, I am stronger, I survived everything you did to me.

You broke me temporarily more than once. You will not break me again, even though I know you will escalate, my armour is thicker than you.

Thank you for reading