Thank you for this article. I can understand why my abusers did what they did but I don’t have to forgive them. I also heard, there are two sides. When I first left an abusive 18 year relationship, my friends initially told me that there were two sides to the story. This implies that I was partially to blame. That line increased my guilt and shame and added to my confusion. If a victim is talking about their experience, just listen and ask them how you can help. Sometimes all we need is to share our story.